I could have made so many jokes about women here

Oh my good sir, allow me to explain the love/hate relationship I have with periods. When I'm attempting to communicate some point to another (likely) sentient being, I heavily endorse the use of and really try to include the period at regular intervals to complete a thought. For instance, I used it right there in order to separate the explanation of when I use periods with the explanation of the example used for when I used periods. I would use this sentence to delve further into the recursion, but right now that previous period is being used to separate the explanation of the example with the thought that I should spare you poor saps from reading any more of my nonsense.

Obviously, in such situations the period is a good friend of mine; she's very reliable, accessible, and very willing to help me contribute to society by making me the best that I can be. Without periods, I sound like a rambling, raving lunatic and, simply enough, nobody will take me seriously; she helps bring order to the world.

But that's why I hate her. She's so restrictive; she has so many rules as to when and where she can be placed. For instance, she would become furio.us at me with this sentence! "My goodness gracious," she would yell, "you can't use a period in the middle of a sentence randomly like that, much less in the middle of a word!" There's simply no arguing with her; she's a cynical and hate-filled misanthrope when it comes to allowing for the truly creative juices to flow. So I hate her; I hate how I have to have her to make me look presentable in the eyes of society and how bullshit social norms make me look like an insane and lonely outcast because I refuse to bow down the vindictive and authoritative paramount!

Call me misogynistic if you want, but I cannot truly express how I feel on a subject without forgoing the use of the period. When I'm off of her terrible and painful leash, I am able to let the creative and intellectual juices flow without any concerns; I can express in the most complete and utterly profound terms of how I really feel and I can leave an impression on anybody I talk to. If you try to force me to return to the clutches of period, the domineering bitch, it's like putting a stopper in a faucet with the water running; I may conform for some time, but then my extraordinary and incredible ideas must get out in some way and it will be in an even less desirable manner for you.