A very serious post about serious

Hey team I want to talk about a very serious subject today that is often neglected by the mainstream media and I believe it is very important to look at this issue in another light. In specific, I want to talk about the plight of the lower class and crime; the two are obviously deeply intertwined and I will tell a heart-wrenching story about several people's slow descent into the heinous world of crime - not of their own volition, mind you - they simply had nowhere else to turn in this vicious and unforgiving world.

Each of them had harsh and unforgiving upbringings. The first of the group grew up in a poor foster family in the mountains. She wanted to become a nurse and help people, but that fell through as she could not attend school due to lack of funds and a lack of preparedness from inadequate schooling.

The second in our group grew up in a relatively affluent family, but his parents attempted to force an arranged marriage on him with an evil woman and he had no choice but to emancipate and leave his old life behind. He tried to make a name for himself but ended up on the streets, with nowhere to go.

The third of our group grew up on the streets, completely alone. He worked extremely hard to try to win over the heart of a young woman by spending a considerable amount of time learning and becoming more cultured. She considered him a freak and he returned to the streets, brokenhearted and defeated.

The three united under a common goal; they all wanted to become the best they possibly could and find true happiness with themselves, but their situation prevented it. They persevered and tried their very best, but it just wasn't good enough. No matter how hard they worked, they couldn't quite come to the level of those who were born into good fortune or had exceptional natural abilities. These people weren't stupid or lazy, but they simply weren't quite good enough to make it.

However, they were made an offer they couldn't refuse - an organized crime lord told them they would be able to make all their wildest dreams come true if they helped him steal from unsuspecting and undeserving targets. Each of them wanted happiness and they told themselves "one bad deed and we can make everything right afterwords".

So they tried, and they tried. Each time they were foiled by elements well outside their control. No matter how well-designed their plans or how skillfully they set up their traps, there was always someone in the way to stop them before they could steal what they needed - the one thing they needed to set them free.

They continue to persist and refuse to give up, sinking further into seedier and nastier devices to try to solve their problem. They're desperate and lost, seeking refuge only in hope.

I think that we, as a society, should try to approach these types of criminals and try to rehabilitate them. Nobody treats them nicely or fairly like they so rightfully deserve after so many years of torment.

So, if you are out there, Team Rocket, I hope you catch that Pikachu. You guys deserve it.

Bugs are terrifying

Hey team so today was a perfectly ordinary day much like any other. Clearly I had just woken up from a 6 month coma which is actually pretty typical for me. Anyhoo I was walking around and admiring the trees and the sky and the birds and the ocean and the desert and the forest. It was a lovely late spring day and I do enjoy the late part of spring because the late part of spring is just great and that may be some circular reasoning but I am not the police today so I cannot arrest myself on that charge.

So I was wandering around and all of a sudden I was ambushed by a mob of tiny little gnats. There were thousands upon millions of them, flying around and being a mild nuisance to me. This was unacceptable and I started flailing about wildly as they began to gain the upper hand on me. "Nooooooooo" I shouted, or something along those lines, "I am being defeat" and they replied "yes yes we are being the win."

Fortunately I had a brilliant plan which could not be foiled by even the toughest of aluminum. I immediately turned into a black hole and sucked in all of the gnats! They were caught completely off-guard and it was a flawless victory! I have plans to teach this self-defense class weekly at the community center for all of those people out there who are afraid of being assaulted by ruthless bug thugs it will be on Tuesday from 2-9 P.M. it is a long class but hey it takes a long time (millions of years) to turn into a black hole so you can't expect it to be an easy transition now can you.