Tales from the crypt!

Hey team it was a hot summer day as I sat idly by my slowly humming computer, taking a long sip out of my five-gallon drum of anxiety and playful curiosity that lay by my feet, then replacing the hose into the mouth of my dog. I looked slowly back and forth from my mind-numbing game of extreme underwater pogo-sticking, where I was expecting a person to come up my drive - at least sometime in the next few weeks.

I took another long sip from my barrel and, realizing it was now empty, filled it back up with used tissues, garlic, and thumbtacks. Such a concoction might have been dangerous to my health, so I was sure to wash my hands before attempting to sip this stuff through a straw. As I looked up from my work, I saw quite a bit of commotion out the window and, being the curious tiger that I am, I went out to see what was up.

"Hey what is up" I said to the crowd of irate bystanders. They turned and glared at me with some kind of ravenous lusting, with arms outstretched and an ominously blank stare in their eyes. They were all walking around in a trance-like state and seemed to be composed of something that smelled conspicuously like rotting flesh.

Suddenly the leader of them spoke up "Hey do you know where the gaming convention is? It should be on North River Road"

I stared silently back at them, clearly indicating I had never heard of that road. I then replied "are you sure you guys are in the right country I'm pretty sure games are illegal here because this is a police state"

Suddenly they all sprung into action and tackled me to the ground with surprising strength for sun-deprived game enthusiasts. I realized what I had done! Oh no! The government had set an elaborate trap for me and all of these gamers were actually secret agents of the law.

"But how did you know who I was on youtube?" I asked them. They simply replied with "Big Brother always knows" and I replied with "hah I doubt that if Big Brother knows all then I bet he could beat me at 20 questions which is the official sport of me"

"Okay" said Big Brother and we played 20 questions and I guessed that his favorite actor is Gary Busey in only 3 questions and it took them 485 questions to figure out that my favorite actor is Nicholas Cage and Big Brother was upset but it is understandable that they wouldn't have gotten that because, as we concluded while we sipped mineral water and enjoyed each other's company, Nicholas Cage is a terrible actor.