Here is a note left from me to me to remind me to put this note on this post: "Hey team so I am writing an epic novel about extraordinary adversary and overcoming it and something along those lines. However I decided to forgo the traditional method of writing a book where you start in the beginning and have rising action and climax and exposition and then finally falling action which are almost in order. Instead, I will simply write excerpts from my novel and post them here; once I have a few pages of amazing climactic action written down I think it will be mighty easy to fill in the rest of the pages because that's usually just filler anyway."
"Hey team!" the ripped and super macho commander of the elite special forces team yelled as he was getting sucked in by Jupiter's inescapable riptide "would you help me get out of here so that we can continue on our mission"
Bob was unable to hear his commander's request and, even if he could, the number of his clones left to exterminate was still far too great for him to go to his commander's aid. Bob was obviously in dismay over the almost certain loss of his commander but he knew that showing emotions would give the giant robot clone army the upper hand as they are powered by tears of the innocent. But Bob's hands were not those of an innocent he was a brutal murderer and he suddenly flashed back to the slide rule incident. He was horrified by what he had become in this mission but he knew he had to do this for his friends back home, especially Tara his anatomically amazing and voluptuous girlfriend who was pregnant but fuck if she was going to have a kid while Bob was still 3000 miles below the Earth and that kid kept trying to come out but she would glare at it until it returned to its womb only to wait another long year to try again.
A sudden explosion from one of the thousands of nearby volcanoes sent millions of clone robot warriors flying but they were soon rescued by the clone robot high priests who carried them to safety on their flying motorcycles made of ecstasy. Bob knew this fight wasn't going to end and it was clear that the clone robot army knew the terrain better than anyone could have anticipated except Ronald whose untimely death was sad, but also awesome. Bob went into another flashback where he saw Ronald's flesh being torn away by his rouge small intestine while his femur, sporting a tumor the size and shape of an external hard drive, beat Ronald and all of Ronald's favorite manicurists to death.
But Bob knew that he couldn't keep thinking about his teammates' pasts if he wanted to defeat the imminent danger with at least 30 jaguars circling his feet as his completely plant-powered jetpack began to gave way. "Curses" Bob yelled at the top of his lungs, "why did we have to go green in the first place I mean I even showed all the scientists that I could navigate their spike-filled and extremely flammable jetpack obstacle course with my own invention that ran solely on ground up dinosaur bones I borrowed from the museum!?"
As the jetpack sunk lower and lower through the noxious sulfur and concentrated hydrochloric acid clouds Bob could hear the roar of the jaguars and the lions and grizzly bears that were forming an evil jungle animal pyramid on the ground in hopes of reaching him. Some were also trying to build a catapult to fling the massive stones of uranium filled with explosive radon gas lying all over the ground at Bob. Bob was obviously very scared but he was a military man so he had to appear composed.
His jetpack gave one last stutter and Bob watched his commander sink finally into the deadly waters and wave his last goodbye before being devoured by the legendary beasts that roamed the waters. They only spit out his commander's medal for excellence and bravery and it landed right in front of Bob. He grabbed his ultra-secret death ray laser gun that shot flaming lasers that explode on impact and looked down one last time at the evil and possessed creatures below before saying "This one is for you Tara and also for you commander I will take your medal for excellence and bravery and bring it back safely once I win this battle!"
Look for more exciting installments in the weeks to come!
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