I can't actually dream

Okay team, I have to say something. For the last 5 or 6 days, consistently, I've been having some really fucking weird dreams. I'm not talking generic naked dreams or falling dreams or explosions of color dreams, I'm talking Steven King meets M.C. Esher meets a goat motor boating up the pyramids and coming down as a C-3PO Wookie. I'm talking seriously... fucking.... weird...

My nights have blurred together into a terrifying, horrifying, mystifying, fantastic spectacle of unbelievable proportions. The colors are the most majestic and deepest of permanent dyes; ferocious purple and explosive chartreuse and ghastly murky turquoise and more colors words can't even begin to describe in our language. And the people there are the most bizarre ghouls a mind could sanely view; I know them all so well and yet I've never seen them before in any reality. I seem to know everything about them as individual people, yet they're all identical as a visual; grim, gaunt, and faceless expressions plastered upon them leave each as individual as every guard from Goldeneye for the N64.

And the backstories. I know everything about this world, somehow. I know what happened to it, I know why these colors exist, I know why I'm traversing through this foamy bubble of nightmarish stimuli, yet I can't remember it when I wake up. I can't remember any of my thoughts, only the actions. And the visions. And I'm totally disoriented for a good amount of time. I don't know where I am, what I'm supposed to do, or whether I'm still in my dream-world of fiendish imagery. Oftentimes, I found, I actually still am; I glance at my clock and the face transforms right before my eyes into this swirling vortex, ready to pull be back into the dark abyss.

But they're not really nightmares, I don't think. No, I don't wake up scared. It's almost as if I'm ready to go again, ready to experience the depths of my mind as I've never been able to before; I really feel as if I have something truly rewarding for finishing whatever convoluted quest with no discernible plot is laid out before me; it's like getting Surf for finding the Warden's teeth and the Warden in Pokemon - it's a ridiculous prize for an even more ridiculous task. It almost reminds me of reading the Phantom Tollbooth as a youngster, only the plot makes less sense and the imagery, much, much more real.

I wish I could explain what I've seen in more concrete terms, but I don't really know of any suitable allusions for my mind's adventures. I've never seen anything easy to relate to what I've experienced the past few nights in reality. I dunno, there's some avid drug users on this forum, maybe they've had weird dreams like mine. No outside drugs here, though, just really fucking weird dreams.

I am so trendy

So today I was driving my Prius down to the local Starbucks to pick up a cup of trendy, expensive coffee when I noticed there was a sale at Hollister which is where I have to get all of my clothes so I went in and they had the cutest pair of Ugg boots you could imagine and I looked at the price and it was more than my mom had given me to go shopping so I couldn't have the boots even though I tried to flirt with the manager but that was okay because I left and went across the road to the health food store and I picked up some vegan food for me and my hipster friends and then I realized my Ipod was running low on batteries so I drove home quickly and I was lucky because by the time I got home I also realized that the battery was dying on my Motorola Razr phone and also that my best friend Shanaynay had texted me with a hilarious story about another one of my ex-friends who was spotted shopping at Target and is therefore my ex-friend because anyone who shops at Target is obviously HELLOOOOO not fashionable!

I will help you move if you ask me

Oh man, moving stuff can be great. It's such an adventure to help other people move; you get to look at all the crap they have and also wonder how on Earth they moved in to begin with. I'm fairly certain some houses are built around some feature that is impossible to move in or out of the home.

For example, I was helping a friend move some stuff around and after moving all the easy stuff, we finally got the grand-daddy of the room - a grotesque desk weighing approximately as much as a dump truck and smelling/looking about as bad. The desk, as we found out, was made out of pure unobtainium and there was no foreseeable way to deconstruct the desk peacefully. No nails were hanging around, no attached joints. It seemed to have been carved out of one big ass tree and plopped in corner of the room, never to be moved ever again.

After much deliberation, we finally "took it apart", very graphically and loudly, with the help of our friend Mr. Crowbar and moved it broken piece by piece to the back of her car to be taken to its final resting place. Amazingly enough, each little tiny piece was still inexplicably heavy and it was a grueling task to carry even boards the size of two by fours.

Another exciting moment in moving came when it was time to replace my friend's dishwasher, which they never used. I never asked them why before, but as soon as it was opened it became very quickly evident why. The entire inside was filled with a disgusting swill, greenish-brown with the consistency of heavy diarrhea and a stench perfectly matching its horrible appearance. Once again, after much deliberation, we decided to simply let the swill wash out into our carefully placed barriers which would collect it and then require minimal floor mopping.

Bad idea, of course, and the swill gets all over the kitchen floor, giving the entire house an unmistakable odor for the next several weeks. But if that wasn't bad enough, there was still plenty of swill that didn't pour out but was also not visible that poured all over our shoes when we tried to carry it. And then there was the problem of getting rid of it: "No way in hell that thing's going in my car", my friend says.

So we walk with it to where it needs to be dropped off, a good 1/2 mile from the house in the pouring rain with swill slowly dripping all over our pants and feet.

God, moving shit is great.

I know so much about cars

Yeah so then me and my friend Sancho fixed up the sprocket oil valve tank lube and replaced it with a 6.8V liter aftermarket eighty thousand horsepower shock coil on the rear front tires and jacked up the base to make room for our new carburetor muffler bearings with a 8.8 inch surround sound sub woofer in 3D glasses without any greasy piston tanks undertaking a coolant leak which we fixed up with a 28 million BTU motor with a drive train developed by transmissions specialist Rondalf O' McConnery because I ain't driving no shit ass Chev-ro-let with its weak special turbo kit brake shocks undermining its dodecahedron litmus paper.

I am the best inventor

I don't understand the need for cars in the future everyone will be able to teleport directly to their destinations and cars will be a thing of the past just like your antiquated ways of rebuilding old cars and thinking that they are cool when they are not I mean honestly who ever thought that giant chrome fins were hip looking, much less aerodynamically sound additions but oh yeah back to teleporting I think the system is really quite simple to build all it requires is a series of teleportation pads that people can step into and they travel through essentially the phone system of days gone by and as a series of bits they transfer themselves from one side of the country to the other at the speed of light the only problem I can foresee right now is that the computer that decodes the bits isn't very good and is running Windows ME and so it might take a while and sometimes the bits get out of order and so we had the janitors come in and put an "out of order" sign on the teleportation pad; only problem is that in order to put the sign on the pad you have to be on the pad and for some reason we made the pad like a video game and so simply stepping in it automatically activates it and so now we have a half-rotting janitor somewhere in a field oh man this reminds me of that movie The Prestige so I might actually be thinking about that movie instead of talking about what I am dreaming about what will happen in the future but actually if I recall to the fullest extent of my mental capacity the teleporter in that that movie actually just created new copies of whatever went into it so there's no way that my character who is created by my dream for the future who lives in the future and who is talking about the very near to him past which would still be our distant future and for my memory it would be even further in the future because my younger self would not have been able to remember dreaming up this future character because they had not yet come to the point in my life where I did dream up this narrator in the future who is talking about an event in my distant future but his recent past, because if I had known about that when I was younger the distant future that I had dreamed up would have been not negligibly less distant, so I would be dreaming currently about a memory where I was dreaming about something happening in the not negligibly less distant future to my present self but the same ratio between my present self and this memory and my dream of my past self and its supposed past memory of the future but to the narrator in that story it would still be happening with the same ratio in his past since clearly it must be a very recent past due to the specifics of his story and how he is using current tenses, which might actually mean that the past doesn't really exist for the narrator and he isn't recalling anything from my dream from memory but, in fact, is currently in my dream of the past dreaming of the not negligibly less distant future in a present, almost commentary-like state, which I think suits that character which I have created in my past dream of a future dream of a memory.

Hey what am I?

This is just a location where I am able to keep many of the stories I write about in one place and not have to dig them back up later. As far as I can tell, everything I'm going to put here has actually happened or will happen or is a gross hyperbole on something I imagined or pretended to have happen. Either way, they're all true stories about me, usually, since I'm a self-centered bimbo.

Don't actually try to read this

This was an experiment I did a while back using translator tools to obfuscate an otherwise boring piece of crap that I wrote. I think it came out much better, having been translated a number of times and having its grammar and vocabulary screwed around with so much. I highly recommend all politicians speak like this forever.

Going to be possible, with a voice that specifies in the method and the origin of the fact that we ask for a similar body. The start of the book, “of structures this person multi”, which it is, enters supporters tomorrow, Saturday, one banquet, that he is wonderful voters. The fear of history, and the sound is at the same time; become for, and thus each one becomes brutal. Exactly if this method, because they want time the same, one historian to come another time when cheer to emit, and now. This means that the necessity will be described and interpreted as the quality and the great amount of the concept.

The rest, is the narrator and seriously. Of this distinction, even so this because of the intensity and between a company and the quality of that one and determined not. the risks and the quality of that it is the science, are the search possibility there and the enters that one is not going to be easy… and the sun all the peoples. Certainly, enormous silence is also of the sight. Connectedly compared: the work, the carcass and the importance of it are the place where the line; but in the part biggest is, and advocacy. Exactly if the thought and the feeling that occurred will be enormous, that the communication is an attempt to hear all, that will be good. The problem is that many people do not feel it. I am not the realization of peace and progress of all meaning of life. Preventive medicine of life, with many of the numbers and the right to life is an object nor fame intelligence, disaster that are not big track.

As a food and other profit and loss account, with quite complex features, and ease. It is beautiful: the price to honor. Once, the determination of the pieces of value of the problem, many people form the call. To probably increase, after the woman does not include/understand the value of the use of this one. When not today tomorrow, however the road and, before the levels of the landing two: lives. Things of the clay of protection three in its precision in the east and not badly, the station of international sector in the country: does tie of loss and profit you;, the desire become different during the war? Why should we; the world sums it up very beautifully? Finely because which it, Soviet Union, you, you itself do not have this crew. A share envisaged of the world around is not necessary for you. This mind of the opposition eye completely in surroundings of the commodity of continuity of the specialist, it will be able to guarantee us: must know. Pressure of mind and you do not exceed from fear. But, importance was to the duck the reel, anyhow this thing important was this Indian; it is mean on the front of the fear letter which is identical and loss, it is; and 3rd party. It the tube printed style of writing envelops and arrives to profit of the leisure which will decrease in unit of measure of the world-wide brush which is difficult is sincere it includes in the failure and the television. In that the tube printed style of writing in the worker whom we use you, it why fight the tube printed style of writing knows quite because of you and being valuable is not, it on the outside which is that it does not carry under using temper. Because many of the natural processes that scorch you, and that of the reasons. To always love - this peace is something that cannot be denied, and a variety of the methods of a different group.

The loss and profit customer, intelligence, and the war had started national peoples of the world, you, and the development of the fight. It does not mention; we share the sympathy with the problems. He can be to protect the places of the residence river; and very probable must to the size, and the aid of the campaign. The importance of it, but we he does not have no boat to store songs. Genocide, necessarily the bad reputation of crime- but simply approaches, not adopted. The decision to deal with the United States can address this crime. Solve these decisions, we should not keep suggested that the direct and clear, to inform the world of such crimes. Empire is appropriate to consider principles, will continue in other energy, the United States completely control. How do you understand people; the world is not complicated! The death of one, but not to take any disposal relative. For me, that there is no one to depend on the behavior of police forces in some cities. For those who do not depend on, and it is essential that help stop crime. That peace will not work. This is a competitive advantage to win the peace prize money is not easy, yes. Or competition in the long term, in the post-cold-war world, and indeed still in the competition. The problems arising from the evil, and that the matter is not. However, they were not able to open a simple way.

Editors of the country's biggest profit bad, not their lives; indeed, it is not clear that the humanitarian issue. India and the fact that I was in charge of writing, but this whole, and when it does not mean that the risk of experiencing such; we are very pleased that all children, we become a television version of demands. That it would be possible to know, we than elsewhere, and have not been recovered; would be a mistake, and wear. This shows the good cooperation will become an increasingly urgent solution, but it won a small demon that. The incident occurred in the control and sharing split between India and the writing life, the process can refute the freedom to think broadly. You are absolutely to apologize. Our goal is a direct role- bail or prediction; we are not friends with streamline intelligence. The team leader in the region, or to continue political and economic unit, the way that it is. The specialists are not satisfactory and is not suitable, Today is no way to get free direction because of this incident, which is still firmly believed that that, but other aspects of situation requirements. We do not; they know that it will not be our place.

It goes under the Prevention of coal gas, the competition is a legitimate end, Indeed, the actual day Group, a table and bloodthirstiness suppressed by the United States and France, to the destruction today. All the thermal air currents flow in each death. What is silence? Some people think this round world, in this sense, we should not criticize the brazen wealth in the world before the end of the trip. Your world and let the world alpine gun shooting incident in the immediate shortfall, it is their position. Victory for our people, so that the whole world may desire. To satisfy people against difficulties for the country is the world allowed to break the collection days, it is necessary to understand. We will not do that. To facilitate this, completely selfish, with a fine season, it is all the system, because this is not life; furious fire wheels participate in a vacuum hell.

Harmony, cooperation and common limitation is what we must strive for. Terrorism to the rest of the world, with many residents possession of Indian writing, was severely damaged. This is a serious threat, we may be wrong, and I attempted none such greatness. Command what is the issue of terrorism in the end, is an attempt to strengthen the non-facts. While we do not know, but decided advantage, no way is first. President of the United States- the power and danger on the ground, its leaders might be worried recession that the choice of political weakness. War victory in the battle, but the use of military units. In the world of terrorism and potential loopholes years ago, the native’s language television peace lines "friends, machine tools, and the degree of harmony.” World peace and different, in that all the world's people. Imbrued work activity, this year's films, electronics, we will improve the lists were very different. North Korea, remember that if all countries were likely to see 100 locations, sane conditions are the most difficult to compare my talks; only because health arrest best point edge, but with the United States, wrote in prices.

Now, the latter characteristic is wonderful creative family whom you may or may not increase; the growth you see the people are trained intelligence. Otherwise, not aware of the intelligence, because on the question of realness. Answer? Research Center completely changed foot size. According to the government's motion and deception, and the entire project, I do not think that writing is legitimate. Well, the nomination period. Consider the country's diplomacy. They are worried that control of the things that cause massive deaths, is not correct. In the North, there is a road, but you will be betraying their own needs and realness. This is probably gone. However, the affordability of life on Earth, right and left; you rest, but it is not animals, humans know. And oil- I very firmly believe that the desire to hit all types of care, in many cases, to continue to this point, in addition to dangerous actions. I think it is possible, no vision so that the future of this method of quality control lines printed- pens; all three sounded.

The reason is, the gains or losses, not to destroy the Earth as a means of raising pipelines print the progress, and we have a reason to not impede progress, biotechnology category. I believe this is a new writing, why fight this dispute, and in a positive and imbrued map High death of the former culture, I understand that you do not need. We may also, which is from the community, relatively simple, and simple method to farmers in the eastern countries. Better wait, full advantage. I textually add technical obstacles on television, we have destruction, which could be from: "not to resist, do not think it is.” That the door to other every of the points key, the sun is not sure case. If you are still to turn around in hour sense, we it will not earn more if they cannot understand that it will not demand for hour, but however, in order to help, if to one given ulterior when they are to wait for. This, of the Spanish duct of people rather than to remove the Yak of the administration, but the glue of the necca wafers of the population. If this is to align, that one will be the test of the Stallions Spanish of surveying only the characteristics of the materials and the services specifically have arrested the heart of this course.

We must understand and love. I would like to conclude my statement : I - if above, in appropriate place : there was no intention to reduce the possibility of natural population growth in the future works of the air time on the ground, but if people destroy themselves. If this strength, and thus hopes for the end of the study did not give her or other persons four years of pain, and the table of being a miracle. If the company, the agenda rejects any proposals here, if the proposal to place the account in south, in the same vein. They do not expect that each of them still have to agree to. If that equipment, which is used for this dilemma was, and then at the white of snow.