By all accounts I am not a very observant person

Hey team today while I was doing my laundry I noticed that I had an odd number of socks in my clean laundry. Looking several weeks into the future I realized this trend was going to continue and it concerned me greatly. I believe this also happened in the past (although I can't be sure as the time machine store has banned me from their premises) but I never noticed because when I do laundry I usually just throw my clean laundry wildly on the floor or in mud puddles because I am terrified of things that are too clean but I am working on my phobia and was putting away laundry this week.

It simply doesn't seem reasonable to me that I can end up with an odd number of socks because I had my third foot amputated years ago and therefore am always wearing an even number of socks on any given laundry week. I decided to go and ask my laundry machine about it.

"Mr. Machine," I said, "would you like to get some tea?" I was trying to ease him into it I know that losing laundry is a very big deal for a lot of machines and they are often uncomfortable talking about it.

The machine looked at me, roared loudly, and ate a significant portion of my forearm.

I laughed. Oh laundry machines, they're so crazy. He did want some of the tea so I poured him a glass of herbal "hipster" tea which washing machines are fond of. We continued talking and after a lovely conversation about our common interests (who knew that washing machines also love Harry Potter?) I started to ease him into the conversation about socks.

"So Mr. Machine, do you know what could have happened to some of my socks? Like, say (2*n)-1 socks, where n is a positive integer?" I asked, choosing my words carefully as to not offend him.

He growled again and tried to lunge at me but I backed away a bit this time and he missed. Now that he had moved a little more into the light from the dimly lit dungeon that is my laundry room I realized that my laundry machine is actually a small pack of lions.

I absolutely cannot fault their efficiency at washing clothes as my clothes always have come out very clean, if a bit torn, but the hassle of losing socks sometimes just isn't worth it. I would not recommend this product.