The Prisoner's Dilemma

Hey team so today I was sitting inside of a Starbucks working on my infinitely recursive screenplay about working in a Starbucks and I was having an intriguing conversation with myself.

"Hey," I said, "I've got an interesting an wonderful paradox for you."

"A most ingenious paradox?" I asked.

"Yes, a most ingenious paradox." I replied.

"But I wasn't born on a leap year"

"What?"

"Nevermind, what is your paradox?"

"Okay," I said, "if you were tasked with being on a firing squad and you had to execute a prisoner, when would you shoot?"

I thought carefully for a second. "I guess I would shoot last out of all the executioners."

I laughed. "Excellent!" I love it when people figure out my riddles. "Now why would you choose to shoot last?"

"Well, I suppose I would want to be the last person to shoot because they would most likely be dead by the time my shot burrowed into them. This helps me out, morally speaking, because I would be the least likely to have killed the prisoner."

"Exactly!" I yelled, getting even more excited. "But here comes the issue. What if all the guards know they should shoot last?"

"Well," I scratched my chin, deeply in thought, "I guess nobody would shoot at all since they would all be trying to be the last of the group to shoot the prisoner!"

"Correct once again!"

"And if that were the case the prisoner can be content knowing he will never be executed!"

"Oooh, no, no, not at all." I said in disbelief. "The prisoner will be constantly terrified with the knowledge that his death could, nay, will be imminent!"

"But wait," I said, "that can't be. We will all be vying for the golden opportunity to shoot him last. Nobody will shoot."

"Aren't you forgetting the most important element in this fine doozy of a situation? People are jerks, and the prisoner knows this! It's only a matter of time before the charade of moral responsibility is dropped and the truly horrible nature of humanity is revealed"

"Aha just like in that one book I read"

"Which book?"

"I don't know, pick one. You've got like a 50 percent chance that's the theme." I said, sipping my mocha latte supreme baha fajita in a very hip manner.

"Oh, right."

We sat in awkward silence for a few long moments. I gazed into my eyes and I could tell I was deep in thought.

"That's a helluva paradox, friend." I nodded happily, completely oblivious to the incredulous stares of every single customer at Starbucks. Clearly they were interested in my screenplay.