Brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush your goddamn teeth

Hey team so last night I was minding my own business brushing my teeth like I always do because only rapists and serial killers don't brush their teeth. So anyway I was following my usual routine - I squeezed some toothpaste out on the brush, right, then put the brush gingerly down on the counter while I put the cap back on the toothpaste.

FUCK I DROPPED THE CAP and it goes swirling into the sink and I try to grab it while, at the same time, knocking over my toothbrush and getting a big glob of blue watery muck on the counter. Just fantastic. So I clean all of that up and try again.

I did my normal routine again but this time the cap was much too slippery and FUCK I DROPPED THE CAP and it goes swirling into the sink and I try to grab it but forget I am holding a toothbrush and it drops dramatically and horribly to the floor.

"Why did you do that Cavity Goon?" I asked him

"I was trying to destroy Atlantis" he replied

"Oh no I forgot" and then I turned and yelled to my roommate "hey why do we have a magic bathroom floor that seems really inconvenient maybe like a table or something on your desk"

And God replied "whoops my bad bro"