Hey team I have a request of you all I would like some feedback from you on my blog here I would really appreciate whatever information you can give me so please be honest
1. One of the biggest complaints I get is about how long my articles are however they are usually no more than a page or two. In your very valuable opinion, how could I make them more pulling or make more people stick around to get all the way through them? Should I incorporate artwork, or change the format, or other suggestions?
2. What is your favorite article on the blog? Why do you like it? Is there anything you found lacking about it?
3. What are your three least favorite articles on the blog? What don't you like about them? What suggestions might you make so that I could improve upon them?
4. Which genre of article do you prefer? Do you prefer the shorter, less involved, and context-less stories or the longer, more drawn out ones? Do you prefer the more serious articles (or, ones closer to reality) or the more absurd and bizarre ones?
5. If you were (hypothetically) to recommend any of my articles to friends/family/coworkers/acquaintances/strangers, which type would you use to make them interested in them right away? Which articles might you avoid?
I really appreciate the feedback you guys will be able to give me. I would especially appreciate honest feedback so if you really feel strongly one way or another please don't hold back.
Hey team I would take a moment to talk about probably my favorite book of all time. This book, as some of you may be able to predict, is The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. It was one of my favorite pieces of literature when I was younger and it remains one of my favorite books to this day, although my severe allergy to reading makes it difficult to try new books I haven't already built up an immunity to.
This book is essentially the inspiration for everything that has ever happened in my life. I love the incredibly thoughtful and creative wordplay that is constantly approached from angles never dreamed of by most authors, the colorful and stranger-than-fiction yet amazingly familiar characters that Milo meets along his journey, and the joyful and happy-go-lucky yet impossibly ominous feeling the entire story has. It is a true inspiration for me and all of my writings.
Milo's journey gives us all a chance to reflect on our own curious idiosyncrasies that turn us into (very much toned down) versions of all of the glaringly flawed characters in the story. This book, while still being very much a children's story, offers many opportunities for meaningful introspection even in sophisticated adult audiences. I would challenge you all to try to read the book without coming up with a new-found appreciation for life or an epiphany for self-realization, but I'm certain that is impossible.
Now those of you who have read the book will be able to chuckle at the reference as well as ponder once again, much like we all did as children, what exactly King Azaz and the Mathemagician's statement means to us as individuals. I can't even make a joke about the book without questioning the profound messages that it offers.
I know I draw so much of my writing style from this book and in all fairness Mr. Juster should probably get at least some kind of royalties for everything I have ever written. His constant puns and carefree yet intellectual wordplay, the constant characterization of idioms and abstract concepts, and the magnificent and poignant yet absolutely meaningless metaphors that I love so dearly("the sound of a blindfolded octopus unwrapping a cellophane-covered bathtub") are all such powerful examples of how wonderfully delightful and entertaining language can be.
If you haven't already because you have a deadly reading allergy, get this book and let it be the only book you ever read in your life. It will change you as a person.
Showing posts with label my book is the best. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my book is the best. Show all posts
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
An excerpt from my novel, part 1
Here is a note left from me to me to remind me to put this note on this post: "Hey team so I am writing an epic novel about extraordinary adversary and overcoming it and something along those lines. However I decided to forgo the traditional method of writing a book where you start in the beginning and have rising action and climax and exposition and then finally falling action which are almost in order. Instead, I will simply write excerpts from my novel and post them here; once I have a few pages of amazing climactic action written down I think it will be mighty easy to fill in the rest of the pages because that's usually just filler anyway."
"Hey team!" the ripped and super macho commander of the elite special forces team yelled as he was getting sucked in by Jupiter's inescapable riptide "would you help me get out of here so that we can continue on our mission"
Bob was unable to hear his commander's request and, even if he could, the number of his clones left to exterminate was still far too great for him to go to his commander's aid. Bob was obviously in dismay over the almost certain loss of his commander but he knew that showing emotions would give the giant robot clone army the upper hand as they are powered by tears of the innocent. But Bob's hands were not those of an innocent he was a brutal murderer and he suddenly flashed back to the slide rule incident. He was horrified by what he had become in this mission but he knew he had to do this for his friends back home, especially Tara his anatomically amazing and voluptuous girlfriend who was pregnant but fuck if she was going to have a kid while Bob was still 3000 miles below the Earth and that kid kept trying to come out but she would glare at it until it returned to its womb only to wait another long year to try again.
A sudden explosion from one of the thousands of nearby volcanoes sent millions of clone robot warriors flying but they were soon rescued by the clone robot high priests who carried them to safety on their flying motorcycles made of ecstasy. Bob knew this fight wasn't going to end and it was clear that the clone robot army knew the terrain better than anyone could have anticipated except Ronald whose untimely death was sad, but also awesome. Bob went into another flashback where he saw Ronald's flesh being torn away by his rouge small intestine while his femur, sporting a tumor the size and shape of an external hard drive, beat Ronald and all of Ronald's favorite manicurists to death.
But Bob knew that he couldn't keep thinking about his teammates' pasts if he wanted to defeat the imminent danger with at least 30 jaguars circling his feet as his completely plant-powered jetpack began to gave way. "Curses" Bob yelled at the top of his lungs, "why did we have to go green in the first place I mean I even showed all the scientists that I could navigate their spike-filled and extremely flammable jetpack obstacle course with my own invention that ran solely on ground up dinosaur bones I borrowed from the museum!?"
As the jetpack sunk lower and lower through the noxious sulfur and concentrated hydrochloric acid clouds Bob could hear the roar of the jaguars and the lions and grizzly bears that were forming an evil jungle animal pyramid on the ground in hopes of reaching him. Some were also trying to build a catapult to fling the massive stones of uranium filled with explosive radon gas lying all over the ground at Bob. Bob was obviously very scared but he was a military man so he had to appear composed.
His jetpack gave one last stutter and Bob watched his commander sink finally into the deadly waters and wave his last goodbye before being devoured by the legendary beasts that roamed the waters. They only spit out his commander's medal for excellence and bravery and it landed right in front of Bob. He grabbed his ultra-secret death ray laser gun that shot flaming lasers that explode on impact and looked down one last time at the evil and possessed creatures below before saying "This one is for you Tara and also for you commander I will take your medal for excellence and bravery and bring it back safely once I win this battle!"
Look for more exciting installments in the weeks to come!
"Hey team!" the ripped and super macho commander of the elite special forces team yelled as he was getting sucked in by Jupiter's inescapable riptide "would you help me get out of here so that we can continue on our mission"
Bob was unable to hear his commander's request and, even if he could, the number of his clones left to exterminate was still far too great for him to go to his commander's aid. Bob was obviously in dismay over the almost certain loss of his commander but he knew that showing emotions would give the giant robot clone army the upper hand as they are powered by tears of the innocent. But Bob's hands were not those of an innocent he was a brutal murderer and he suddenly flashed back to the slide rule incident. He was horrified by what he had become in this mission but he knew he had to do this for his friends back home, especially Tara his anatomically amazing and voluptuous girlfriend who was pregnant but fuck if she was going to have a kid while Bob was still 3000 miles below the Earth and that kid kept trying to come out but she would glare at it until it returned to its womb only to wait another long year to try again.
A sudden explosion from one of the thousands of nearby volcanoes sent millions of clone robot warriors flying but they were soon rescued by the clone robot high priests who carried them to safety on their flying motorcycles made of ecstasy. Bob knew this fight wasn't going to end and it was clear that the clone robot army knew the terrain better than anyone could have anticipated except Ronald whose untimely death was sad, but also awesome. Bob went into another flashback where he saw Ronald's flesh being torn away by his rouge small intestine while his femur, sporting a tumor the size and shape of an external hard drive, beat Ronald and all of Ronald's favorite manicurists to death.
But Bob knew that he couldn't keep thinking about his teammates' pasts if he wanted to defeat the imminent danger with at least 30 jaguars circling his feet as his completely plant-powered jetpack began to gave way. "Curses" Bob yelled at the top of his lungs, "why did we have to go green in the first place I mean I even showed all the scientists that I could navigate their spike-filled and extremely flammable jetpack obstacle course with my own invention that ran solely on ground up dinosaur bones I borrowed from the museum!?"
As the jetpack sunk lower and lower through the noxious sulfur and concentrated hydrochloric acid clouds Bob could hear the roar of the jaguars and the lions and grizzly bears that were forming an evil jungle animal pyramid on the ground in hopes of reaching him. Some were also trying to build a catapult to fling the massive stones of uranium filled with explosive radon gas lying all over the ground at Bob. Bob was obviously very scared but he was a military man so he had to appear composed.
His jetpack gave one last stutter and Bob watched his commander sink finally into the deadly waters and wave his last goodbye before being devoured by the legendary beasts that roamed the waters. They only spit out his commander's medal for excellence and bravery and it landed right in front of Bob. He grabbed his ultra-secret death ray laser gun that shot flaming lasers that explode on impact and looked down one last time at the evil and possessed creatures below before saying "This one is for you Tara and also for you commander I will take your medal for excellence and bravery and bring it back safely once I win this battle!"
Look for more exciting installments in the weeks to come!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)