Doctor Hogan rushed through the E.R. with a terrified look on his face. The number of people who had ingested the popcorn kernels was growing and the unrelenting summer heat was causing the most extreme buttery diarrhea anyone had ever seen. It was flowing as freely and unstoppably as a flow of fresh lava from the nearby volcano.
On top of all of their problems at the hospital, Doctor Hogan had an incredibly large problem with his largely female and largely sexy hospital staff who were all concurrently suing him for sexual harassment and discriminatory policies, putting him several hundred trillion dollars in debt. Fortunately for Doctor Hogan this was the future and dollars were being traded in the millions for something as simple as penny gum.
He was also waiting for a new arrival from the nearby death hospital to bring back a person who wasn't actually dead but very close. They were being helicoptered in from the cemetery and he watched as the helicopter carrying the poor man was being pursued by the poisonous man-eating flying jellyfish doing all it could, with it's 14 main machine guns firing away at the gelatinous monsters. The bullets shot streams of jelly flying outwards in a most magnificent light show but the mutant jellyfish had already discovered bio-regeneration tablets and simply shooting the beasts wasn't going to be enough to stop their assault.
Doctor Hogan's molecular dis-integrator was largely ineffective at ranges greater than 200 meters and he was helpless as he watched the helicopter fight valiantly to stay aloft with the mighty jellyfish firing lightning from their tentacles and eyes which would create massive, earth-shattering explosions off of the helicopter's fusion energy shield but that was going to give way if it took any more damage.
He would have to rely on the good old fashioned way of fighting back at the jellyfish and so he mounted his great woolly mammoth and signaled it forward. This was a matter of life and death and Doctor Hogan cared about his patient.
The mammoth's giant flaming tusks burrowed into the closest jellyfish monster and it exploded with such ferocious force that Doctor Hogan was almost sent careening off into the deep abyss below. He stabled himself and had the mammoth charge once again, but this time the jellyfish were ready.
They blinded the mammoth using their powerful laser rays and twirled around until a great tornado was created that started to suck the mammoth off of the ground and send him flying. Doctor Hogan, using his unbreakable masculinity, leaped from the mammoth right before it collided into a massive jellyfish who was also caught in the tornado creating a massive explosion of sickly green and deep, ominous black. He landed precariously on a nearby jellyfish and smashed his powerful masculine fist into the creature as it let out a sickening roar.
The helicopter was now trying to get Doctor Hogan to come aboard as the jellyfish were retreating from the deadly radioactive fumes and they fired all 29 guns in such a way as to build a bullet ladder for Doctor Hogan to run up to the helicopter on.
He finally got up into the helicopter, jumping on a small 50 millimeter bullet for the last step up into the loading bay. He said in his very low, dreamy voice: "Is this the dude that you wanted me to treat?"
The helicopter's operators all nodded and the Doctor sauntered casually over to the body strapped down to the table.
"This is the wrong dude" He noted.
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